There
is more guilt and angst over saying, "No" than
perhaps any other issue in business. Take, for example, the
new client prospect you really don't have a good feeling
about. You don't want to work with him, but you "should" take
him on. After all, you need the money or maybe the knot in
your stomach is just what you had for lunch. Pay attention!
That "should" is your new best friend! It's
telling you that somewhere deep inside yourself you have
already said, "No".
What
happens next? You prove you could have had a brilliant career
as a trial attorney as you make compelling arguments
on behalf of saying, "Yes". Since most of us are
pretty good persuaders, the chances are excellent that "Yes"" wins.
The problem, of course, is the consequence. "I should
have listened to my gut", you say at the first sign of
trouble. Now it's even harder to say, "No".
You're already in too deep.
I
recently received a frantic call from a client. Her customer
had left
her a voice mail changing the terms of their deal.
She launched into all the reasons she "should" have
said "No" to the client in the first place. Of course,
she was right. Her decision to shout down that "should" was
turning into a nightmare. Getting out of a situation like this
is much harder than not getting into it at all. In the end,
she decided to refund the unused portion of her fee and move
on.
The
Art of "No"
There
are many ways to say, "No". One very effective
way is to deflect your response away from the issue at hand.
I was recently invited to be a part of a new venture a business
associate was starting. Instead of saying, "No" I
first requested a thorough review of the project (just to be
sure I wasn't missing an opportunity). That review reinforced
my original conclusion that the direction was not aligned with
the direction my business was heading. Here's what I
told him . . .
"Thank you so much for inviting me to work with you.
Based on my review I can see you have a well thought out plan
for this business and it would be an excellent opportunity
for someone who is focused on your market. There is someone
I know who could be a good prospect for your venture." I
went on to describe that person's background, experience
and goals.
Here's
another way to handle this type of situation . . .
"Unfortunately, I'm fully committed on current
projects". (It's always useful to have a network
of colleagues you can refer business to when the occasion presents
itself).
It's
never too late to bail
Stuck
on a committee? Can't get off the newsletter you
said you'd write for?
"You
know, when I accepted the role of ___________, I greatly
underestimated the time (money/energy/resources/staff)
I could commit to it. As a result, I am not able to give it
what it deserves. I am resigning (will be leaving/stepping
down from) my position effective as _______________ on __________________.
Saying "No" to your boss
This
is tricky and depends on what you are being asked to do.
A client was recently in this dilemma. She already had
a full plate of responsibilities but the additional work would
increase her visibility, influence and network. Instead of
saying, "NO" she leveraged her boss's request
to ask for (and get) an assistant to do the simpler tasks.
A
final word on "No"
-
Resist
the temptation to justify your response. The more explanation
you give, the more power leaks out of your "No".
-
Always
convey your gratitude for the invitation to participate,
do business with, work for, etc.
-
Don't
blame anyone else for your decision.
-
Don't blurt it
out. Take enough time to think through how you will say "No" before
you do.
Knowledge
is power! If you are telling yourself you really should,
you've already decided not to.
Start
saying, "No" more often by paying
attention to the "shoulds" that creep into your interior
dialogue. Remind yourself by writing "SHOULD = NO" on
an index card you keep by your tele/cell phone or anywhere
else you will see it when it counts
