Copyright Philip Diamond 1972
Everybody, even people who are not involved in business, has on
occasion lent money and has experienced difficulty in getting
the money back. Business people are constantly plagued by this
and, occasionally, a company is forced into bankruptcy as a
result of it.
There are a number of procedures used to collect debts First, of
course, are the mailing of statements and personal phone calls.
Then an attempt is made to tease the debtor into paying by
adding stickers to the statement with cute cartoons and funny
captions. Some companies sell a series of collection letters and
the buyer of these letters is instructed to send the first one
out immediately (a very mild attempt at collection) to be
followed weekly by each succeeding letter until payment is
received. Each succeeding letter is stronger in its demand until
the final letter which looks very legal and threatens the
non-payer with legal action. When all else fails, the creditor
either resorts to suing in small claims court or turns the
account over to a collection agency which charges up to 50% of
the amount collected.
Our collection technique is based on an old vaudeville routine
which I am convinced must have been written by an expert in
human psychology.
In this routine, Larry Lender runs into Danny Deadbeat on the
street. It seems that Danny had borrowed $50 several years ago
and has just never gotten around to repaying it. Larry decides
that he must psych out Danny if he is to get his money back. He
knows that a straight request for payment will only result in
stalls and excuses by Danny. REMEMBER, THE AMOUNT OWED IS $50.
Let's eavesdrop.
Larry: Well, how are you, Danny? It sure has been a long time.
Are you still working at the same place?
Danny: I'm still at the same job even though the boss is a rat.
The problem is that I don't know of another job where I could
get that kind of money.
Larry: Speaking Or money, Dan, how about paying my back that
$125 you borrowed three years ago?
Danny: What do you mean, $125? It was exactly $50 and I borrowed
it from you just two years ago last August. I only owe you $50
and that's all I'm going to give you right now. Here is the
money and I want a receipt from you showing that we're square.
You will also find this technique used by the police, district
attorneys, lawyers etc. Let's watch a movie on the late show:
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